This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.
What lies ahead is the living embodiment of horror incarnate. An entity so twisted and potentially deadly that it could be disruptive to the very fabric of reality as we know it. New recruits flock in droves to this unspeakable new threat daily.The new vassal is generally of the female persuasion, allured by fantastic promises (via super-secret-villain type brainwashing radio waves) of all the fun of life being violently ripped from the unsuspecting male.
The victim, generally a shacked-up male content basking in the glory of his own seedy debauchery, soon finds his sexual/emotional/financial/moral inadequacies broadcasted relentlessly all over the country. This causes a variety of side-effects such as humiliation, Sudden Housing-Deprivation Syndrome ... and in some extreme cases often resulting in said male ending up in the ultimate hellish result: being married alive.
Should this vileness be allowed to continue to insidiously spread, we live with the ever-present threat of morality, honesty, monogamy, and spousal attentivess. Imagine the horror.
It must be stopped ... like yesterday!!
This is your Mission should you choose to accept it. As usual, if you are caught or discovered. The Secretary will disavow any knowledge of the Mission.
Good Luck! Whoever you are!
These instructions will self-destruct in five seconds.
Seize the night!
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